A new day

I took my sweet little girl to the park today. She loved it! She had so much fun! 

The only thing that bums me out is that when she wants to go down the big slides, and wants me to go with her, I don't. I would, but I have this fear of getting stuck.....

So, now we're back to me really pushing it again to lose weight. I'm back at the gym, back on my diet. And hoping like crazy that I can really stick to it.

I hate goals. But I feel like since I liberated myself from goals I have gone down hill. So, here's my goal.

I'm going to lose at least 40lbs before my birthday on August 7th. Current weight is still 310 lbs. So that will take me down to 270 lbs, which is what I weighed at my wedding, 5 years ago.

I plan to go to the gym at least 4 times a week. I am going to do an hour of cardio a day and half hour of weight training. I am going to work hard, and sweat a lot. I'm going to cut pop out completely again, and drink mostly water. I'm going to eat more fruits and vegetables. I'm going to eat foods that are higher in fiber. And I'm going to work my butt off, literally.

Sticking to my diet and finding the motivation to go to the gym are the hardest things for me. I would rather eat a giant bowl of ice cream, and sit on my butt reading a book. But I need to do this, I want to do this. And above all that, I know I CAN do this!

I have about 120 days to lose 40lbs. I can do it!! Who's going to set a goal with me?