Accountable.

Kathy and I have decided to set a goal for our birthdays (which are a week apart!) to lose 40lbs by the seventh of August for Kathy's birthday and when I come to South Dakota to visit her.

We are going to do a weekly weigh-in on Friday's and post it, because embarrassment always is beneficial in losing weight. Saturdays will be our cheat days (I may change it to just one day a week, working like crazy as I am right now may prevent me from just having Saturdays, but still only one day a week!)

I am officially buying a scale today, I haven't owned one in years.

Another way to be held accountable is to really deal with our problems as to why we are overweight. Every week I want to think of something that makes me so overweight, and with getting to the bottom of these things, I hope to help motivate myself and learn how to overcome everything.

So here are my starting stats:

Weight: 265lbs
Pant Size: 24 (I just went up! :[)
Chest: 44DDD

Now let's talk about what I am coming to terms with this week.

I have realized I am a procrastinator to the max, I think "I will deal with my weight later" or "I will eat better tomorrow" and these things are exactly what this disease is about. I have an addiction to food. I may not eat ten thousand calories a day, but I am addicted to eating good, fattening food. I debate getting a salad, but then I see pasta and I go for it. I start thinking about pasta and my mind goes blank, unfortunately salad does not have this same effect. This is an addiction, and it is not healthy. I literally have to change my entire way of thinking about food. I have to realize that nothing I eat that is bad for me will make me feel better, it's quite the opposite. No amount of pizza and ice cream will make me happier about myself. It will make me feel worse about myself when I have to go up a pant size.

It's time to get real.