Busy busy busy!

I've been thinking about what to write on here for awhile, and nothing has really been coming to mind. I did have my doctor appointment, and although she told me I could gain 2lbs, I lost 3lbs. So, that's good at least! I guess I need to keep being careful about what I eat so I can keep my weight in check for this pregnancy!

A friend shared this today, so I thought it was perfect to share on here!

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

A Pregnant Fat Kid

Hi, I'm Kathy. Remember me? I haven't been on in a few months. 

My weight loss has been put on hold for now because I'm currently baking baby #2! We're due March 4th 2012, so I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and have already gained more than the doctor wants.

Boo.

So, I think it's time to start up my blogging efforts again to help myself keep in check. I'm following the doctors orders and eating a salad before my meals (except breakfast, that's just gross...) She told me she doesn't want me to gain more than 2lbs at my next visit which will be Sept. 29th. So, I'll be back at the gym walking and doing some light weight training on Monday. It would be really nice to get back to swimming too, but I flat out REFUSE to purchase a maternity swim suit, and you can't make me.

So, here's to gaining no more than 2lbs at my next doctors visit. Guess I'll have to keep away from all that pasta I've been loving and craving so far. BAH!

It's been awhile.

Well, I haven't kept up on posting about my progress.

I honestly don't know how much I weigh. I decided to stop weighing myself for awhile. I get discouraged if I don't see big changes. But, I've been going to the gym an average of 4 times a week. My friend Mary and I have taken up swimming. We've also started doing free weights instead of weight machines because it works the muscles differently and requires more balance which requires you to use more muscles to keep yourself balanced.

I'm feeling good and noticing some differences already. Last night my husband and I went to Fast Five in the theater. I was pleasantly surprised to sit down in the theater seat and discover that my butt fit just fine. It has been years since that happened. And even when we went to Hop with Piper it was a bit of a struggle.

So, I'm proud of myself for the progress I'm beginning to make. And I can't wait to see more results over the summer!!

Accountable 2.0

Starting Weight: 313 lbs

Pant size: 24

Bra size: 44DDD

What makes me fat? I love cookies, cake, and ice cream. Simple as that. I also have LOW self control. I use the excuse that I've been doing good, so I should be able to reward myself.....well I reward myself a lot more often than I do good..... So, this week I'll be working on my self-control.

(Inpsirational Women Feature) - Adele.

So often we see women in the media whose bodies will never realistically be attainable for us, especially if we are fat kids, a lot of the times our bodies are simply built differently than Victoria's Secret models. Even if we have that capability, would you really want to give up eating anything delicious for the rest of your life? I thought we should include a section on women of real size in the media, to hopefully diffuse our own stereotypes of what we have been conditioned to think of as beautiful.

This is Adele. If you haven't seen her amazingly beautiful face, I am sure you have heard her voice all over the internet with her singles, "Chasing Pavements" "Hometown Glory" or even my personal favourite, a cover of Bob Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love" all are equally heartbreakingly soulful. At only 21, with two Grammy's under her belt and a voice that will remind you a bit of Ella Fitzgerald with the soul no white girl should have, she is sure to be one of your new go-to listens.

The best part is, this sweetheart is a fat kid. And she's gorgeous! If I could raid anyone's closet, it would easily be Adele's. I love everything I see her wearing, from her false eyelashes to her booties, this girl knows how to work her figure.



Her new album entitled "21" is available in stores now, and already has a single on the top 40's.

I recently discovered this gem, her cover of "Natural Woman" and it is now on my workout playlist!

You're beautiful Adele, thanks for inspiring us!

Accountable.

Kathy and I have decided to set a goal for our birthdays (which are a week apart!) to lose 40lbs by the seventh of August for Kathy's birthday and when I come to South Dakota to visit her.

We are going to do a weekly weigh-in on Friday's and post it, because embarrassment always is beneficial in losing weight. Saturdays will be our cheat days (I may change it to just one day a week, working like crazy as I am right now may prevent me from just having Saturdays, but still only one day a week!)

I am officially buying a scale today, I haven't owned one in years.

Another way to be held accountable is to really deal with our problems as to why we are overweight. Every week I want to think of something that makes me so overweight, and with getting to the bottom of these things, I hope to help motivate myself and learn how to overcome everything.

So here are my starting stats:

Weight: 265lbs
Pant Size: 24 (I just went up! :[)
Chest: 44DDD

Now let's talk about what I am coming to terms with this week.

I have realized I am a procrastinator to the max, I think "I will deal with my weight later" or "I will eat better tomorrow" and these things are exactly what this disease is about. I have an addiction to food. I may not eat ten thousand calories a day, but I am addicted to eating good, fattening food. I debate getting a salad, but then I see pasta and I go for it. I start thinking about pasta and my mind goes blank, unfortunately salad does not have this same effect. This is an addiction, and it is not healthy. I literally have to change my entire way of thinking about food. I have to realize that nothing I eat that is bad for me will make me feel better, it's quite the opposite. No amount of pizza and ice cream will make me happier about myself. It will make me feel worse about myself when I have to go up a pant size.

It's time to get real.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?

I am quite addicted to the weightloss reality television shows out there, and this quote was mentioned to a patient at a weightloss clinic. I know I have heard it before, but it never really sank in until now.

To be honest, no matter how good that cupcake tastes, it is not healthy for me to eat them all of the time. It's not going to make me feel better in the long run. Working out, eating healthy foods and taking care of myself is what will be the most beneficial for my mind and body.

Of course you need to indulge yourself from time to time and enjoy life, but really instant gratification never pays off in the long run and rarely is the most healthy thing to do.

Mike and I had a conversation the other night while watching one of these shows and he asked, "Why are you so afraid to try it Heather, how many of these shows do you have to watch?"

And I didn't have an answer. Part of it is denial. I look at those people and think, "Well I'm not that bad" and look at myself differently. Part of it is laziness. Part of it is being stubborn and not wanting to change my life. Part of it is giving a finger to society for what is declared "beautiful" and loving myself the way I am. And lastly, and probably mostly, I worry I may die tomorrow and I don't want to miss eating that cupcake when I could have had it. Which leads to a giant Catch 22 in my life. I love myself the way I am, but I have to come to terms with the fact that this will kill me if I don't get this under control. I am obese. I am unhealthy. I am slowly killing myself with food.

It makes me bitter too, because watching these shows I see men and women consuming thousands upon thousands of calories and I never eat like that! Of course I have my pig out days, but I never eat five hamburgers from Wendy's. I never consume an entire pizza. I don't eat healthy at all and I don't work out aside from my job, but really? I weigh the same as some of these people? It just doesn't seem fair. And I need to get off that kick. My body is the way it is and it is the weight it is, regardless of how fair it is and regardless of how other people get to eat whatever they want and never gain weight. Unfortunately I am not one of those lucky jerks.

So here it is, I am getting better. I am taking control of my health. I want to join a yoga class and I want to eat better. No more soda, no more fast food and I am going to start working out regularly. No more empty promises. Here we go.

"It takes courage to grow up & become who you really are." - e.e. cummings.